


How Am I Supposed to Love You?

by SperaStella



Series: Damerey Daily 2020 [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: #damereydaily2020, Angst, Angst and Feels, Canon Compliant, F/M, Force-Sensitive Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2020-02-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:27:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 562
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22532446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SperaStella/pseuds/SperaStella
Summary: The war is over, but the scars it leaves behind are not easily forgotten.Rey tries to help the man she dared to dream could love her.#damereydaily2020
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey
Series: Damerey Daily 2020 [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592212
Comments: 11
Kudos: 45
Collections: Damerey Daily 2020





	How Am I Supposed to Love You?

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: angst, angst and more angst. Poe is not in a good place. 
> 
> _Darling, I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream._

In the aftermath of Exegol, General Poe Dameron cheered when it was time to celebrate, cried to mourn the dead, and led the Resistance when direction was needed. But his strong veneer didn’t fool Rey. 

When she returned from Tatooine she could feel his exhaustion and torment. Their usual banter, which was a facade of its own for something left unspoken, felt empty and unreciprocated. At night, his restless Force signature burned like an untamed flame and the more she tried to help him, the more he seemingly pulled away. 

Which is why Rey was waiting for him when Poe returned to his quarters in the evening. 

“We need to talk,” she said softly, wanting more than anything to find a way to help the man who once made her feel like no one else in the galaxy. The man who made her believe that she was someone special the moment he laid eyes on her. The man she dared to dream could love her.

“Can it wait until morning?” he sighs, avoiding eye contact and taking a seat on the edge of his bed with his head buried in his hands. “I’m really tired and I have to be up at 0600 for a briefing.”

Rey frowned slightly but remained undeterred. “No, Poe. You...you aren’t okay,” she pauses, trying to sound as comforting as possible before taking a step towards him and murmuring, “Let me help you.” He looks up at her and she can see a redness in his normally deep brown eyes. He opens his mouth as if to say something but no words come out.

“Poe?” she whispers, finally closing the last remaining distance between them. Hesitating for only a moment, she reaches out and gently runs her hands through his hair in a way she hopes would be soothing. Her hands continue down the side of his face to his cheeks and against his full-day grown stubble. “Please?” she implores. “Let me help.”

When he finally looks up at her again, tears are beginning to run down his face framed in her hands. “I...I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.” His voice is cracking and he’s fighting back a sea of tears. She opens her mouth to try to say anything in response before something inside him let’s go.

In an instant, every thought and feeling Poe has seemingly been trying to keep bottled up was now flowing through her. All the pain, sadness, sorrow, failure, and loss - it was nearly unbearable.

Rey looks into his gaze as tears are streaming down her own face at the strength, courage and bravery of this man. He had done this somehow. She knew he was Force sensitive and she would never invade his mind forcibly, but somehow he managed to endure all of this pain and still open himself up to share this piece of himself with her. It is wonderful and horrible all at the same time. He places his hands on-top of her own.

“How...How am I supposed to _love_ you...when I don't love who I am?” Poe sobs. 

It’s all _too much_. 

His admission hits her like a bantha stampede and she stumbles forward into him. They embrace fully and gently lay back onto his bed. Crying and holding onto each other for dear life, they fall asleep in each others arms.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading. 
> 
> For those have been following my recent posts here on Ao3, you know I have been having a really difficult time recently in both my personal and professional life. This has really limited the time I have to write as well as my overall creative mindset. I still have updates planned for my two WIPs: [The Seconds Halt In Disbelief](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22203697/chapters/53012179) and [Stolen Glances That Sparkle](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22355440/chapters/53406817), but I don't know when those updates will be coming.
> 
> I sincerely apologize for this angst filled fic, but this was the best I could do right now. 
> 
> Title and Poe's admission come from the song [Half a Man by Dean Lewis](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kua2dDhqzZw)


End file.
